[Subtitle reads: “Our First Location: Nothing says ‘the South’ like a Cigarette Outlet!”]
Hilarie Burton: [from behind camera] Hi Nick.
Nicholas Gray: Hi! We’re here at this gas station.
HB: [reading side of building] Cigarette Outlet!
NG: [also reading sign] Cigarette Outlet. Snacks. Drinks. Sandwiches. Boiled Peanuts. [turns to gas station behind them] Do you think this looks abandoned? Or do you think this is uh…
HB: I mean, there’s tools still out, right? I don’t want to get too close in case there is a junkyard dog! [both laugh]
[Bad sound quality. Subtitle reads as Nick talks: “ ‘Remember the time you actually thought I was barking?’ Yes, Nick. I do.”]
HB: [laughing and turns the camera around to show her face] Nick and I had a meeting and where we went had a little tiny dog, and it had this awful little bark, and it sounded like a human. And I totally accused Nick of being the barker.
NG:[camera back on him] I did not bark.
[cut to Nick standing in front of a convenience store. Subtitle reads: “Dollar Holler: Boyfriend’s place of work”]
NG: Now we are at the convenience store… where boyfriend…
HB: [from behind camera] Boyfriend.
NG: I guess, boyfriend.
HB: Boyfriend!
NG: Where boyfriend works. It seems to be closed, but there are career opportunities available.
HB: Oh, certainly! Look…
NG: So this is where [towards Hilarie] you’re going to be.
HB: Okay. I’m playing boyfriend.
[cut to reflection of Hilarie in convenience store window]
HB: [waving] That’s my reflection, you guys. Check this out. [focuses to show inside of store] Radical. Welcome to… can’t see! [readjusts camera] Wrightsville Beach! That’s what it says! [walks camera around side of store] Nick, where’d you go? I think Nick’s hiding from me! [shows lake behind store] This is where we are going skinny dipping when we’re done shooting. We won’t film that! [laughs]
[cut to Nick walking through trees]
HB: [behind camera] We are doing a camera test to see how the light is back here.
NG: It’s about 12:22 on a Saturday.
HB: Okay. I feel like the light’s pretty good. It’s kind of behind you, so you are a little dark. I don’t know how to remedy that. Do you know? Because I didn’t go to film school. I just work in T.V.
[Hilarie’s phone rings. Subtitle reads: “It was Chad Michael Murray texting me. Perhaps we will trap him into doing our next short.”]
HB: My phone’s ringing.
NG: Well, I went to film school, but I didn’t pay attention in lighting.
[cut to Hilarie walking across a cement beam.]
NG: [from behind camera] Here goes Hilarie.
HB: So, this is a little bit of a screen test. You may very well see this in the movie. I hope I’m not running into, like, poison ivy.
NG: I don’t see…
HB: Should I be doing this, like, barefoot?
NG: I… no, no, no… I don’t think so.
[Subtitle reads: “Why do I have so much stuff in my pockets?”]
HB: What I need is like, ballet slippers, right?
NG: Yeah, I don’t want you barefoot on that.
HB: [reaching other side] Ta da!
NG: You did it.
HB: There are creatures back there.
NG: Creatures a’scurryin?
[cut to high shot of Nick looking at camera. Subtitle reads: “Dumb Camera”]
HB: [laughing from behind camera] It’s recording! It’s recording right now! You look so cute!
NG: [grabbing camera and now speaking from behind camera] I thought it was saying… Cuz I thought it was saying before… [Hilarie on beam comes into view] Oh, there it is!
HB: There it is! Alright, are you ready?
NG: Alright, dismount!
HB: [while bending up and down] Ready? One, two… [jumps and lands] There it is, kids!
NG: Ta da!
[cut to Hilarie laying on floor next to water. Subtitle reads: “Getting down and dirty.”
HB: Can you get this creek in the background?
NG: [behind camera] Well, I can tell you right now, one bad thing is that reflection right there, of the sun…
HB: Can you get it from a low angle, over there, so you are not so much, looking into the water?
NG: [changes angle] Yeah, I think that’s what we have to do.
HB: [gesturing to in front of her face] So if the gator head is, like, right here… and it’s talking…
NG: Yeah, I mean…
HB: Will that work?
[cut to Nick in front of lake, pointing across it. Subtitle reads: “We are not looking at the cranes right over there…”]
NG: …Because there is something a lot more awesome [points to ground] right here.
[zoom to animal bones laying in grass]
HB: [from behind camera] What in the hell is this, kids? Um… We don’t know what kind of animal this is, so if anybody is like, a scientist, it would be really awesome. But, here’s the joint…
[cut to different view of animal bones]
HB: [from behind camera] Dear god, please bless this creature that is now gone. I’m sure it was very beautiful, at some point. We miss it dearly, and wish it could be in our movie.
NG: [off camera] Amen.
[cut to Hilarie standing in front of a tree]
HB: So Nick and I were just looking at this tree, and we found something in its knot, here. [reaches into knot and grabs white package] And it’s wrapped up…
NG: [from behind camera] This is Boo Radley.
HB: [unwrapping package] Dude! I always look in knots! I don’t know if it’s a note, or if it is drugs. Oh my god, if these are drugs… Hold on… Please don’t let it be drugs.
NG: It’s a note!
HB: [gasps] It’s a note! [begins to unfold it]
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